Death, Genealogy and Joy

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Cover page of Rick's
Memorial program

I recently lost my brother-in-law to covid which caused a heart attack. It is still painful in the week after the burial and the memorial service, however I've realized how much joy and sorrow can exist together, especially in someone who does genealogy as a means of family history.

Of course the hugging and tears help too, and the phone calls, swapping stories, laughing and crying over the shared photos. There is a wonder to it all, as people on Rick's side of the family, no kin to me except by marriage and the shared love we have for my sister's children, grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, when the barriers come down in shared grief. It is suddenly ok to walk up to people whom you barely know, and hug and cry together, when this is really not the case at other times, at least in my family.

And because I do genealogy, I know (or can figure out) who all these people are, how they are related to one another, and so, what the stories mean. I can ask "where was this?" and understand the answer. When I look at FamilySearch Family Tree, I now have met some of the submitters, and they've met me. 

This is a painful blog to write, but It is also feels good. Rest in peace, Rick, and may this pain remind me to call my sister more often. She misses you so much, and we all miss you so much, even your terrible puns.






Rick's pallbearers, including my two sons, one of his sons, two of his sons-in-law, and a grandson






Valorie Cowan Zimmerman


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