The Magic of Reaching Out

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There is magic in reaching out to others! Sometimes it seems like work, so let's make it easier. 

First, write a good query. We wrote about how to do that previously, so check that out. 

What's a Query and Why Should I Care? #ResearchOpportunity


A good query:

    1. Leads with Who When Where
    2. Asks a specific question
    3. States what resources have already been consulted

Once you get a query format you like, copy it! And then plug in more people of interest and their details in a place where you can easily find it. Depending on how you store your genealogy materials, you can put all these queries in one document, or separate ones for each family. 

AND.... if you have a research question and the beginning of the research report /timeline for each of these people, make your query statement part of that document and be sure to note where you send or post it and a date, so you can remember to check back and see if you have some responses. Be sure to include some contact information such as an email address if possible.

Where can you send these queries?

Reach out to cousins

There are many places to find cousins, and here are some of the major ones. Of course if you already have contact information for cousins, write directly! 

In general, you can find cousins:

In online groups, at Groups.io, Google Groups, Facebook, Facebook groups, and on genealogy sites, such as Ancestry, 23andMe, MyHeritage, Family Tree DNA, Geni, Geneanet, Gedmatch, LivingDNA. 

This method works if and only if you write and send to a lot of people. My rule is to always write to at least five people at a time because that way, I'm almost sure to get a reply. It's easy to send to multiple people if you have something you can copy, paste and modify as needed. So step one is to write the query, and then copy it widely. 

For more ideas of ways to spread the word, see Genealogy as a Team Sport: Getting Your Message Out (Twitter!) Pictured to the right is a query my mother placed years ago in a local newspaper to her grandparents. It's more difficult to find small local newspapers now.


Reach out indirectly

There is an indirect way to reach out to relatives which you may have not considered: create, fix or add to FindAGrave profiles. Anyone with a free account can create new profile pages, upload photos, obituaries and other documents, and suggest edits. If you find an ancestor or other relative without a birth date or place, not linked to their parents or spouse, please do your cousins a favor and suggest those facts, and upload some images! And if there is a missing ancestor, create a page for them. If nothing else, leave a flower and message, and be sure that your own profile page has good contact information. 

Eva Maria Andersdotter Bergren
The Swedish cousin who contacted me so we could work together to find all of our great-great-grandmother's descendants, said he did so because of my FindAGrave work. 

Yesterday, I think we proved our link to my missing great-great-aunt Eva Maria Andersdotter! She is pictured at left.




Reach out to DNA matches

When contacting a new DNA match, it's best to modify your query quite a bit. Begin with a small amount of information, especially if you suspect that there is a DNA surprise in your match. Ancestry has some hints here: Contacting DNA Matches: Get More Responses with these Pro Tips. Try asking for a small action, for instance, "will you please let me know that you have read this message, even if you do not know the answer to my question?" This begins a conversation, which gives you more chance for a connection. 

Make a habit to always mention your contact email so you can move that conversation off of the DNA testing company message system if your match agrees to do so.


Reach out to fellow researchers

Many of the family research company websites have a messaging system, as does FamilySearch. If the site allows you to create a profile, do it! Upload a small photo of your face, add some general information about yourself and your interests, and maybe put in your gedmatch kit number, if you have one. Make it easy for people to reach out to you.

Find ways to reach out where ever you are. For instance when you get a match on someone's tree, look at their profile, and message them. Perhaps they are not a relative, but they may know some of your relatives. Ancestry even has a special way to do this based on people you are researching, called Member Connect. The menu pictured below is on each researched person's profile page:


Member Connect works quite well if the researcher is still active on Ancestry. You can see how interested they are in your person of interest by how many records they have attached. I'm not aware of other genealogy sites making it so easy (although Rootsweb used to) but in general you can always message someone privately in one way or another.


In conclusion

It is my hope that you, dear reader, take away two points:

  1. Make it easy
  2. Write a lot of people

Valorie Zimmerman

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